Have yourself a merry little carnage

Christmas is rapidly approaching. I know not what it means to all of you, but to me it means family massacre. There are my cousins, 5 of them, who are all swell people. We get along, but probably because we see each other so infrequently. And then there are my aunts and my mother. They don't get along, and it's probably for the best that they see each other as infrequently as they do. My mom's younger sister is the more fun and loud one, whereas my mom's older sister is pretty much the matriarch of the family. I thought about getting her a scepter this year, but I didn't because I decided that she's very likely to use it for more harm than good. She is the type of woman who refuses to age gracefully, but insists on causing a scene the whole way, while most others would let time do its wonders and drive them into mindless and immobile old age. Um.. I guess I should shop.

Happy holidays.